Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
