I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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