You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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