you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
