he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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