Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
