Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so let's talk penis.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
