can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
