ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
