'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
