Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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