I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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