God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We are two peas in an std pod
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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