i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
