Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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