im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
