her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
