taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
