yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
