He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
