they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
