My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
