I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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