I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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