I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Boobs speak an international language.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
