i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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