OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
