If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
