Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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