Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
