My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
