you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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