Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We need to rekindle our bromance
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
