I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
