You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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