Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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