I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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