I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
