i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
