put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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