Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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