I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
not ubering you a puppy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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