Do vagina's smell?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
