i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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