im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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