I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
