when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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