Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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