When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
