Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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