Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
foreskin is a definite game changer
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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