Me too!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize