Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
