Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
