Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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