He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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