i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize