hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
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When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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