I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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