Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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